Pfizer shot 2 and stuff...

 Last week I received my second dose of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. All was great until about 14 hours later. All of a sudden I was freezing AND burning at the same time. I took 1600 mg of ibuprofen and went to bed, covered by 4 heavy blankets and a Snuggie (lol.) Later on I took some of the blankets off. I knew my fever broke when I woke up and my bed was soaked in sweat. That fever and chills action took about 12 hours to work its was through my system. I slept an additional hour and then got up and went to work. The only other reaction I had was my arm had a red welt that was warm to the touch for about 5 days. Now there is no indication that I had anything there.  The after effects were not as bad as the first shot. My arm (and the arms of co-workers) hurt like the dickens for at least a week and a half after the first shot. Imagine walking through a Sheriff's dispatch office and seeing all the people rubbing and moving their arms. It was funny to look at, my it sucked because my arm hurt! 

Now that I have had both doses I feel a little better at going out. I don't feel like a sheeple because I believe that vaccines are good. I have had all my vaccines. With that said, I currently don't take the Flu shot. I don't take this shot because I have had it twice in which I became sick after, one time I had to work from home (I was at a different job) because it took everything to get up, work for 8 hours and go back to bed to sleep all night. I had the flu and I had it bad. With this second shot of the Covid vaccine I can plan to go see my father, whom I haven't seen in person in over a year. I do face-time him nightly when I work. 

Last night I went through some of my clothes in my closet. I am trying the KonMari method. It was kind of weird at first. Literally touching each piece of clothing in my closet to see if it gave me joy. I am shocked at how much didn't give me joy. In the donation pile it went after I thanked the item for the joy it gave me previously. Next weekend I plan on working on the pile of papers and boxes I have in my room. Hopefully the same method will work for me. I am pretty tired of my room looking like a dorm room (even though I am in college. lol) 

 I started a new meal plan. It is local. It is called ReBuilt Meals. They are based in Tampa. I am pretty excited to try them. This company allows for double protein and has a bunch of meals that is red meat based (which is good for someone with low iron, like myself.) I like the fact I can do the double protein, there is red meat and I can pick my items up every Monday, so I don't have to let them sit in the hot Florida sun. The pick up location is about 1.5 miles away from my husband's work so he will pick them up for me. Saves me $15 in shipping fees. I will let you all know how they are. 

One Love to all 

We must end fat shaming!

Lets talk about fat shaming. 

  Fat, heifer, cow, husky, chunky, chubby, plus size, large, etc... These are names that I have been called (sometimes I called myself those names!) This must stop. Not everyone is a smaller size. We are all not the same. Many of us obese (I hate that word!) people, have such negative views of ourselves because everywhere we look we seen skinner. We compare ourselves to the next heavy person near us and think "Do I look that big?" or "I would die if I was that big." I will bet that most larger people have tried almost if not every diet out there. I know I have. Weight Watchers, Keto, Atkins, Mediterranean, Nutra System, High fat, low fat, no fat, and the list goes on. These companies make a killing on the backs of chubby people. 

( https://asmbs.org/resources/estimate-of-bariatric-surgery-numbers ) Look at the above chart. Every year the number of people choosing gastric by pass has increased. These are people who took a healthy stomach and cut it, made it smaller or done something to it to prevent them from eating. Most likely because they felt insecure, hated being fat, didn't think they had any option. It is sad.  Gastric bypass costs about $23,000 where as a lap band costs about $15,000.

 I bring this up because I had an incident with a new doctor. I saw her twice and I will never see her again. She could not get passed my weight. (To make matters worse the scale could not weigh me correctly because the numbers didn't go that high.) I was so embarrassed.  First words out of her mouth after introducing herself were "Have you thought of weight loss surgery?" FIRST WORDS!!!! I told her no. I told her that in 7 months time I had lost almost 50 pounds. She said "Why don't you think about the surgery." I informed her that I knew people that did it and a lot of them gained their weight back and that weight brought friends. This still didn't satisfy her. She had me do some labs - non fasting. Since I am a glutton for punishment I did the labs and went 2 weeks later. **SIGH** Guess what. She asked me if I had thought about the surgery, again. She was shocked that my blood work was in normal levels, my cholesterol a little high ( I was eating a keto diet and that can happen.) No suggestions on diet, or weight loss, or exercise. She was stuck on me getting this surgery. I left her office in tears. I was embarrassed and heartbroken because it felt all the hard work I had done the previous 7 months meant nothing. 

So I did better. I got a new doctor. I met my new doctor last week. I love her. She congratulated me on my weight loss said it was something to be proud of. She was mortified of last doctors comments. Of course she had to weigh me. So off came the glasses, pockets emptied out, shoes off. Same type of nasty nasty scale. This time however, it was able to register my weight. I had lost over 50 pounds in a year. 

I don't know if Doctor A knew how hurtful her comments were, if she was trying a scare tactic or she was just a nasty unhappy person but in a way she helped me. Helped me realize that I need to stand up for myself. I need to stop looking at myself as a fat person and start looking at myself as A PERSON. 

Every day it is hard. I can't go into a regular store just yet to buy Women's sized clothes (ya know the PLUS section that is usually ugly out of style baggy clothing - because that is how all fat people want to dress. I mean hey, just send me to Omar the tent maker!) 

People don't realize that a larger person can be large and healthy or that a skinny person can be skinny and sick. 

High school in Ewa Beach, HI approx 110 lbs

                                           Feb/March  2021 between 300 but less than 400 lbs

I have struggled with my weight all of my adult life. After each of my two children I gained weight. I got a divorce, gained weight. I was in a very verbally and emotionally (sometimes physical) abusive relationship for 10 years. Guess what, I gained weight. I moved away from family. Yup, you guessed it I gained weight. In the 11 years I have been married I have gained over 200 hundred pounds - lost some, gained some back. It is a viscous cycle. 

I eat when I am: 

     Happy

     Depressed

     Lonely

     Bored

     On Vacation

     Watching TV 

     Playing video games

     Working

     Studying

     etc.... 

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Guess what, I see the numbers on the scale or I have experiences with people like Doctor A and I eat. Which causes me to gain weight. Which depresses me. Which causes me to eat. Which causes me to gain weight.... See where this is going. It is a viscous cycle. 

I am a food addict. When we see drug addicts we want to help them. Alcoholics we want to help them too. But a food addict, society makes fun of. Call them names "Hey Shamu, Sea World called. They want you back." I had a previous co-worker who would not sit next to me during a meeting because (her words) "She has a fat ass." I tried to play it off like it didn't hurt but inside I was breaking. I was ugly crying and embarrassed. Yes, my ass may hang over the sides of the chair but at least my soul is not ugly. These words I kept saying to myself in hopes of making myself feel better. It didn't. 

Recently I have been reading a book about Intermittent Fasting.  I kind of have been doing this on my own for the last few months, but alas, like normal I quit. But I have been going at it wrong. I was seeing it as a diet and not really a lifestyle. This is the first lifestyle book I have read and it really has hit home. 

I am not condoning or glorifying obesity (as it seems that if someone speaks out against fat shaming that is what they are doing.) I am condoning and glorifying being a decent human being. Everyone is fighting some type of battle. I know people that can not gain weight no matter how hard they try. They eat anything and everything they can. But no weight gain. I know people who have had surgery and gained their weight back and some that haven't gained it back. I know people that have used Weight Watchers and look amazing and did a great job. I know people who are just happy being them, no matter what their weight is. Slowly I am getting into the last group. I am not going to kill myself going on a restrictive type diet. I am going to be making a lifestyle change. I am going to try and remember that I am human and that I may stagger along the way but as long as I am happy with me, then screw what others think.  

So the girl over there in the corner looking at the models wishing that was her but thinking she is fat. Sister, I see you. You are a person. You are not defined by the number on the scale. The model you are looking at is air brushed and starving. 

To the guy over there looking at the body builder wishing it was him but thinking he is fat. Brother, I see you. You are a person. That body builder may not be as big as you think and he may even have had some help (you know what I mean.) You can set your mind to whatever you want and can reach your goals. I will cheer you on. 

****Please note: In no way am I bashing people that have done the Gastric surgery. It takes guts to go in to the hospital and have something done. Please know that I love you all and don't care what your weight is.****

Quick update: 

 Since February things have been hectic. Half of my house came down with Covid. Thankfully I was not one. My husband however, is still suffering effects of it. He has a cough that he can't get rid of now. 

I was lucky enough to have the Covid shot available through work.  Yesterday was my 2nd dose of the Pfizer shot. So far I have only experienced a sore arm (my other arm, where the lab took 9 vials of blood - normal lab work- hurts more!) My lovely husband, who thinks he is funny, states he is going to get me a sheep sticker for my Immunization card. 

I just completed my final exam for the Digital Forensic course I was taking. I received a 99%. YAY! I have decided I do not want to do digital forensics but instead I want to do Crime Scene Investigating so I have changed my course of study to that. I can't wait for my next class - Anatomy! 

Hubby and I had a staycation down in St. Pete. It was nice. No alarms to have to set. We did our own things on our own time (He did a lot of sleeping, I had less sleep than normal.) 

New year new me.

 So much has changed since my last post.  New grandbaby, new job, oldest got married, new teeth, started school. . 

Grandbaby number six was born in Oct. 2020.  It was the first little girl.  

New job is working for our local Sheriff's office. I am currently working on the switchboard. It is a lot of fun.  I was just released from training. Last night was my first shift without "training wheels." 

I went back to school in January.  I am going for an Associates degree in Digital Forensics.  Police work has always amazed me. 

I have decided to blog about my weight loss journey now.  I am slowly losing weight.  I got to the heaviest I have ever been. I was knocking on the door of 400 lbs. I knew I needed to do something about this.  I went to the doctor in September and all she kept saying was that I was heavy and that I needed to have surgery to lose weight.  I have never wanted to do the surgery.  It has worked for some, but the majority of the people I know gained back their weight and some even gained more than they loss. The weirdest thing was that in September I had already lost 20 pounds from where I was back in March. I advised her that I was not going to have surgery and that I will lose the weight on my own.  In July I had my teeth removed and implants put in.  I had to live on shakes and ice cream for a little bit.  I did gain 10 pounds of what I had lost.  Since November I slowly got back on track.  

I am currently following a Dirty Lazy Keto plan.  I enjoy this because if I want chocolate cake, I will eat chocolate cake. The biggest take away I have learned from ready Dirty Lazy Keto  is to eat in moderation. I can eat a piece of chocolate cake but I don't need to eat the WHOLE chocolate cake.  

With my job I have actually started also doing intermittent fasting. I try to aim for between 16 and 19 hours of fasting. This has actually been a great help to me along with a new addition I have added, pre made meals.

I am also using a service called Factor75.  I choose the Keto meals. I have 12 delivered every Tuesday. Tuesday is my cheat meal day. I take two meals to work each day.  This is the easiest for me as I don't take time to cook prior to work.  I like to just grab my food and go and on my days off I like to chill and watch movies or play video games. 

Here is are some of the meals I enjoyed last week. 

Sun dried tomato Chicken 

Chorizo Chili

I have now lost the 10 I had gained back and have lost a  total of  40 pounds. 

As for my implants.  I had to have the tops removed the Monday before I started my new job. I was so sad.  They did not take. So I had to have bone grafting done (my face swelled so much)  I finally get to go back (after 4 months) for a pre-op appointment on the 22nd and should have the uppers put back in hopefully in the first two weeks of March. 

New Day New Me!!

I am 3 weeks into WW.  I have a total weight loss of 2.4 pounds.  I gained 3 pounds last week because I at whatever I wanted and didn't care.  This is a great lesson in there are consequences for my actions.  Did I really need that quarter pounder?  Did I really need that large chocolate shake (not to mention I have a dairy allergy.)  I am a work in progress and seeing these numbers really puts it in perspective for me. 

Today I started a program called DDP Yoga.  I was inspired by the two videos I saw on the web site.  Arthur and Vance.  If these two can do it then I can.  Arthur wasn't able to walk unassisted and Vance weighed over 450+ at the start.  These two have inspired me so much.  Vance can be found on twitter  @LawDog1515.  If you would have asked me if I would ever get up at 0430 to work out, I would say you were nucking futs! I did it today, and amazingly I am looking forward to doing it tomorrow.  I want to say Thank you to Diamond Dallas Page, Arthur Boreman and Vance Hines.  You three are my inspiration!! 

The Fabulous Mrs. P

Holy cow 27 MONTHS

27 months since my last post. WOW. I am seriously slacking. A lot has gone on in that time.

1) No I did not make my 5K. I wussed out. Stupid anxiety!

2) I worked a little as an independent contractor for Younique. I loved the products, loved what it stands for but didn't like thinking of my friends and family as customers. I also didn't like having to be on Facebook many times  day.

3) My little G had to have a kidney removed. Poor guy. He has been through a lot for a 3 year old. Full recovery! Cutie patootie!

4) Part of my company was sold to another company and yours truly was part of the 2,200 people that went with the new company. We are three weeks in. It is rough. We are still getting used to each other - Us to the new company and vice versa.

5) I am planning on starting a business with my friend. We are going to be making undergarments. But we are planning to put our own spin on them.


I am hoping to get on here more now and keep everyone updated.

5 K Registration and brutal honesty.

So.. I have not been one who is brutally honest when it comes to my weight. I am not honest with friends, apps and more importantly I am not honest with myself. Well, that is about to change.

Hello, my name is Lawauna and I am fat. Not just fat but obese. The last time I stepped on a scale I weighed 347. GASP... Yes, that number is correct. I keep telling myself "Oh your not fat", "But you carry the weight well" (Yeah I carry the weight well if I was a pregnant whale.) (Told ya brutal honesty)

I have a love hate relationship with food. I hate that I love food so much. Food is my comfort. When I have a terrible day where do I turn -food... Some may say "well, it's better than heroin." No, no it's not. Food is my heroin. My cocaine. My meth. Bad day- eat. Good day- eat. Ok day- eat. Vacation- eat. Holidays- eat. I even eat in my dreams. There are days I wake up and all I want is some fatty bad for me type of food. Chocolate cake- man I can sit and eat a whole 12" double layer triple chocolate cake in one day. I am a food addict.

Why the change..

Well, recently we discovered that I am allergic to dairy (milk, lactose, whey, etc). Not just lactose intolerant but actually allergic. I have fixed that problem. I have not intentionally had any type of dairy since before my birthday Dec. 29.

I will give you 5 reasons. My grandsons. Ages 6, 5 (my angel baby), almost 2 (in March) Just turned 1 in December and my newest grandson is due later this month. I want to be around for these boys. They are the light of my life. I want to be able to fly and visit them and not have to purchase two seats because my fat butt can't fit into one seat comfortably. I want to run with them.

I am tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of being out of breath walking up the 13 stairs to my condo. Tired of not being able to keep up with my hubby when we are out walking.


So, I signed up for a 5K. I had to pay and therefor that is my motivation not to give up. Plus it is a Flavor - color run and should be a great time. I have always wanted to do a color run.

I want to wear regular size clothes and not have to go to Omar the tent maker for clothes.

I want to wear stilettos


So this is the beginning of my journey. The begging of the end of the fat, jolly Lawauna and the beginning of the slim, trim, sexy Lawauna.

Workout day 1 completed.
5 minute warm up
1 minute run, 1.5 minutes walk (times 6)
5 minute cool down.

December Already??

Amazing video!! #ShareTheGift

He is the Gift




Wow, I can't believe we are already in December. This year has just flown by. Are ya'll ready for CHRISTmas? For the most part I am. I have decided that I don't want something huge and flashy. I am going for a minimalistic CHRISTmas. We bought a new tree this year. We bought a white one. Something I never thought I would own. But I love it. The lights are multicolor. But we decorated it all in silver and blue. Mostly blue ornaments with silver garland. A couple of ornaments were silver and blue. The one off ornament is Frankie's UFO. The Monkey and I saw it and it screamed Frankie, so we had to purchase it.

Work is wonderful. Not half as stressful as the last place I worked at. It is amazing how different the atmosphere is in a company where they actually value their employees instead of treating them like cattle. (Poor cattle). I will be starting my Associate in Science- Insurance Services  in January. I am pretty excited and pretty nervous. I am hoping to get that Associate and an Associate in Business Management.

My church family is wonderful. I am still getting used to having new Missionaries every so often. I got close to a couple and they have left. But they will always be in my heart. (Plus I can keep up with them on Facebook) They are some great young men and women.

Baby G-Man is due this month! I can't wait to meet my fourth grandson!

"To God Be The Glory Great Things He Has Done!"



JMFK 11/27/2010 Gone but never forgotten

August 3, 2014

Happy Sunday! Wow, I can't believe it is already August. This year has so flown by. This will be an exciting year. The Monkey starts her Senior year August 18th. Our fourth grand baby is due December 27th (2 days before my birthday). Lil man starts school. He will be 5 in October.

Today at church was fast Sunday. Fast as in not eating. Not fast as in the service was quick. As I sat in the sacrament meeting listening to the testimonies of my fellow brothers and sisters I was amazed. Many of them had found the church while experiencing many of the same feelings I was feeling that lead me to the church.. I won't go into to much because I am giving a talk on August 24 and then will post my talk here so others may read my testimony. Also, during sacrament I was sustained as the Visiting Teacher Coordinator. I am pretty excited to be able to accept my first calling.

This month one of my favorite books premieres as a television series. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon . I was so excited to see that it was finally turned into a series. I was much happier that it was a series and not a 2 hour movie, as so much of the story would have had to be cut. This is a book that I read for the first time about 9 years ago. Yes, I said for the first time. I have read it many times. I have read 5.5 of the 8 novels that are out. Some of them more than once.

The past half week was pretty busy. My mother in law, father in law and Frankie's cousin came down for my brother in laws 40th birthday. It was a great time. I don't think once I was in bed before 1100pm with Friday and Saturday me not hitting bed until after midnight. Makes for long days. I actually broke down and took a 25 minute nap this afternoon. I had to, I was drained!! Yesterday was brother in laws birthday. We had a family party that included us and 3 friends that are like family and their wives. It was the first party I have been to since joining the Church and no longer drinking alcohol. I will say that the temptation was there but the urge passed. I enjoyed my soda and mostly my water. I have to say. I had the greatest time. I even got a little dancing in with my father in law and some singing of some Beastie Boys- Brass Monkey and Paul Revere- much to the shock of my husband.

This week I am sure will be long only because I am going on vacation on Saturday. I am going up to Louisville, KY. I had a ticket from March that I had to use and they allowed me to reschedule my trip (since when I was originally schedule to go up I had ended up starting a new job and was in Mandatory training and could not miss a day). I haven't had a vacation where I went away in two years and the last time I was in Louisville, my mother in law and I were involved in a car accident the day before I went home.

Not much more to say but I hope everyone has a wonderful day!








"To God Be The Glory Great Things He Has Done!"



JMFK 11/27/2010 Gone but never forgotten